Why do Air Canada and WestJet always call me “sir”?

​I fly a lot for work these days. I’m so grateful that communities and businesses invest in 2SLGBTQ inclusion, allyship, and customer service training.  In the past year, I’ve been on dozens of flights to northern Alberta, Nova Scotia, Toronto, Reykjavik, Paris, and every corner of British Columbia.
 
Usually, when I board, a flight attendant or pilot calls me “sir”. 
 
I know they are trying to be polite, but every single time, it makes me cringe.  I can’t help but think of all the non-binary and gender-diverse passengers getting misgendered on these flights all the time.
 
Just because someone looks like a “sir” to you doesn’t mean they use masc (masculine) pronouns and titles. The same goes for “ma’am,” ”ladies and gentlemen,” and “boys and girls.” In all these cases, you might be insulting your customers.
 
When you look at someone and assign them a gender, you might be getting it wrong.  Someone’s looks don’t define their gender; their identity and how they feel do.
 
For example, clients might identify as non-binary and prefer “they/them” pronouns. A client could also be transgender or genderqueer and not identify with the “sir” or “ma’am” that people always label them with.  
 
It’s not just airlines.  Business all over the world make Queer people feel less welcome all the time. When Queer people feel less welcome, they are less likely to make purchases or have positive customer experiences.
 
That’s a lot of frustrated customers. Instead of feeling excited to fly, some people might feel annoyed or avoid travelling altogether
 
Surely, non-binary, androgynous, gender-diverse, transgender and Queer people deserve a welcoming experience as well. 
 
This is an easy fix: Gender Neutralize your words.
 
Someone’s gender might be different than what you assume it to be.  We want to make sure everyone feels welcome and valued.
 
If you’re welcoming passengers aboard, try saying things like, “Welcome aboard” [full stop].  People will still feel seen, and the risk of offending has been removed.
 
It’s the same reason I guide clients to let go of terms like ‘sir,’ ‘ma’am,’ ‘ladies and gentlemen,’ ‘boys and girls,’ ‘salesman,’ ‘businessman,’ ‘stewardess,’ ‘actress,’ ‘waitress,’ ‘fireman,’ or anything else gendered. It’s not about taking genders away from people, it’s about making sure everyone feels included.
 
Instead of ‘policeman’, we say ‘police officer.’  Instead of ‘fireman,’ it’s ‘firefighter.’  You get the idea.
 
If you really want to add a title, try ‘guest,’ ‘traveller,’ ‘learner,’ ‘valued member,’ etc. Finding the right title can be tricky—and hard to come up with one that doesn’t feel forced—but it’s a good exercise because there’s certainly more to your brand than ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’.
 
Get creative and highlight an aspect of someone’s experience with your brand other than their gender. It’s just a bit old school…and not in a good way…
 
What do you prefer to ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am?’  Let me know by commenting on my Instagram Reel here.
 
And if you still really like ‘ladies and gentlemen’, maybe it’s time to add another option, ‘ladies, gentlemen and non-binary folks…” That way, you won’t miss anyone.
 
Shine bright, the world needs it!
 
You’ve got this!
 
Mischa Oak
 
p.s. if this is Air Canada or WestJet reading, check out my inclusion and allyship workshops here.